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Kim’s book, The Great Sex Secret, addresses a problem that all heterosexual lovers encounter when they become intimate. Because of the way male and female bodies "interface" during straightforward intercourse, women are often left unsatisfied. Throughout history, one-sided sex has been the norm - male contentment and female frustration. Even today, with our improved understanding of sexual anatomy, many couples are still in the same fix, and the results are well documented: faking, frustration, and all too often, relationship failure.

 

Kim’s carefully researched and clearly (at times humorously) written book tells what a few fortunate lovers have discovered - and almost never talk about. Chapter 6 is a detailed, straightforward description of three approaches that reliably deliver mutual satisfaction. The Great Sex Secret is a perfect conversation-starter for couples who want to find their way to sexual happiness but are having difficulty talking about the details. This book is important because mutual satisfaction during lovemaking – true fulfillment for both partners - really matters, especially in long-term love relationships.

 

The Great Sex Secret is available on Amazon
All royalties go to Tostan, a remarkable charity.

 

The Great Sex Secret’s table of contents provides an overview of Kim’s argument:

Chapter 1 – Disappointment in the land of Eros: Is there a design flaw?

Chapter 2 – Wham, bam, thank you , Ma’am: The long history of one-sided sex

Chapter 3 – No female orgasm – but he tried

Chapter 4 – Faking it and dealing with it

Chapter 5 – Simultaneous orgasms: are they possible?

Chapter 6 – Three approaches to mutual satisfaction

Chapter 7 – What’s technique got to do with it?

Chapter 8 – Keeping passion alive in long-term relationships

Chapter 9 – Finding our way to sexual happiness

Selected reviews of The Great Sex Secret from Amazon:

Peg Winship, retired “Ask Beth” columnist for The Boston Globe

This highly readable and straightforward book will be fascinating to heterosexual men and all women who want to have good mutual sex. It should be core reading for any college course on human sexuality.

Dr. Jackie Black, relationship expert and coach, California

Here is a powerhouse book that offers three approaches that insure BOTH partners of mutual satisfaction during lovemaking. It's about time someone addressed the inevitable concerns of couples struggling to keep the passion alive in their relationships in the long term and committed to figuring out how! Now men can hear it straight from another man who knows!

A. Bundy of Watertown, Massachusetts

The Great Sex Secret makes it really clear: happiness in your sex life hinges on one thing -- real, reliable orgasms for both partners, in a context of communication and trust. In a matter-of-fact, warm and deeply informed way, educator and writer Kim Marshall challenges the deep habits of silence and ignorance that keep so many people from sexual happiness. He then goes on to give readers wonderfully concrete help on how to make sure that if good sex is what you want, good sex is what you can get. With great attention to detail, readers are treated to descriptions of a variety of techniques to ensure that both partners in a heterosexual couple will experience orgasm. It's wonderfully "hands on."

I have been trying to figure out who Kim Marshall reminds me of as he writes this book -- and of course it is Fred Rogers! Marshall has the kind of wise, funny and factual approach to sex that Mr. Rogers had on the subject of feelings. He wants us to be completely comfortable with sex, to make good use of what we know about human anatomy, rather than to ignore it, to form a habit of communicating honestly with our partner as we are having sex, and to build on that emotional honesty to have really GREAT sex.

The other interesting thing is that this book is essentially about equality in relationships. It turns out that the path to mutual, reliable orgasms is based on a man's absolute commitment to a woman's sexual pleasure. In his own un-preachy way, Marshall takes strides toward a vision and an experience of human sexuality that is really fair, and really fun. There is a subtle power in this book that makes me very glad I am giving it to my college-bound son and nephew.

The Great Sex Secret is one of those rare books that confirms a vast amount of what you knew -- or suspected -- but had not actually been able to put into words. Serious students of human sexuality will recognize its solid research base. The rest of us can use this slim volume as it is intended: as a tool to help our lovers and ourselves -- and the lovers among our family members and friends -- become happier people.

This one is destined to become a classic! Try it out on someone YOU love.

BookLoons review by Kerrily Sapet

Books about sex crowd the shelves of bookstores. There are thousands of books, magazines, videos, and websites. For years people have been bombarded with advice, or a lack thereof - such as in Victorian times. Sex educator and author Kim Marshall seeks to remedy that with his latest book, The Great Sex Secret.

After years of study, Marshall was struck by what a significant gap there is in sex literature and the popular media. His book addresses what he sees as the dearth of information about how both partners achieve an orgasm. Studies show that 85 percent of women say they do not have an orgasm during actual intercourse. Marshall addresses why this is physically, and suggests different approaches to making sex more satisfying for both partners. Interestingly, throughout Marshall's book, he touches on the history of sex and how different generations have dealt with questions. He also discusses common myths and societal taboos and how they impact both men and women.

The Great Sex Secret is laid out in nine basic chapters that are easily readable. Marshall's tone is a mix of gentle humor and warm, simple advice designed to spare the reader embarrassment on a topic many people are uncomfortable discussing. Sprinkled through the book are excerpts in which both men and women offer up their voices on certain topics. Marshall also relies on sexual studies to underline key points. In the end Marshall's book is an open and honest discussion offering a pathway to greater mutual sexual happiness

A college student, Cambridge, Massachusetts

Kim Marshall's book is a delight to read! Even though at first I was skeptical of one secret that would solve everyone's problems, by the end of the book Marshall had me totally convinced his suggestions can help most (heterosexual) couples have better sex - and more fulfilling relationships. His incorporation of facts is always interesting and balanced with humor and charm that make the book as enjoyable and funny as it is important. Its emphasis on the connections between physical and emotional intimacy in both one time "hook-ups" and long-term relationships is persuasive and insightful. It is a crucial read for people with any level of sexual experience, and I have already begun recommending the book to all of my friends!

Willoughby Walling, Brookline, Massachusetts

The Great Sex Secret is a very good book. It is short, clearly written, and most interesting. I learned a lot. Put simply, the book offers practical information on how women and men can experience orgasm during intercourse. Reading this book together is an ideal way for partners to discuss their sex needs

The book is helpful for various audiences: young women, young men, and older couples.

Humor is employed throughout the book in a pleasing way. The result is that the reader smiles a lot, even chuckles, without the importance of meaningful sex being disparaged.

Dr. Ellen Kenner, Clinical psychologist

“If you could be granted any wish, what would you change in your sex life?" How would you begin to answer that question? More often partners are focused on the problem rather than the solution. Men typically wonder: Why does she seem so frustrated and bored with sex? Why won't she tell me what she likes? Why does one-sided sex leave me feeling emotionally unfulfilled? Women typically feel a slow-burn resentment and guilt: Why doesn't he pay attention to my needs? Why do I feel cheated and frustrated with sex? Why can't I tell him how I feel? Why do I have difficulty reaching orgasm --or even lack any desire for sex? This enjoyable book answers those questions.

What is "The great sex secret"? The answer, says Kim Marshall, lies in a profound shift in thinking: "the idea that intercourse could and should give sexual satisfaction and emotional fulfillment to a woman." Why focus on the woman? The reason is two-fold.

First, even with all the explicit sexual knowledge at our fingertips, many women are still shy about exploring their own sexuality, finding joy in doing so, and communicating what feels best to their partner. Marshall notes that partners "have had very little practice at putting their sexual likes and dislikes into words." One explanation: " . . . the imprint of early life experiences plays a major role in shaping sexual attitudes and behaviors." Unfortunately, many of those early life influences campaign against pleasurable sexual abandon with a partner. He gives us a brief, fascinating history of sex to illustrate the long-entrenched problem of women's dissatisfaction. Can you change? Of course, Marshall notes, "mutually satisfying lovemaking is learned."

Second, the problem is "geography": the location of the clitoris. During intercourse, it doesn't gets the direct stimulation the penis gets, often leaving many woman unaroused and engaging in "multi-tasking"--planning dinner while their husbands are nearing orgasm. Men are often clueless as to why, when they are at the height of ecstasy, their partner is bored and angry. Marshall asks: "And where are men supposed to learn how to sensitively and appropriately stimulate the clitoris during love-making?" He then answers: ". . . the best place to learn how to make love is with a lover. And is there anything sweeter than a couple (safely) exploring and learning about sexual pleasure together? This is where a man can get the kind of honest minute-by-minute feedback that will help him progress from bumbling ignorance to loving proficiency."

Marshall sums up the essence of the secret: "The key to long-term sexual happiness is having a strong love relationship and finding an effective, mutually satisfactory way to bring both the man and the woman to orgasm while they are together." He identifies three approaches that work. This is a realistic, easy-to-read book that breaks the "conspiracy of silence" regarding female orgasms and thus helps guide lovers to true sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy.

Owen Woods

Here's a secret to share with a friend.... Kim Marshall's remarkable book about sexual relations between lovers is a treasure and one of those rare books that will change your life. In our sex- obsessed culture, Marshall points out how little we really talk amongst ourselves and our lovers about the most intimate and pervasive of all subjects. I have no idea why this book hasn't become a national blockbuster but here is a guarantee, it will. It is hard to read the book and not tell someone about it and its "secrets". Secrets that are so obvious, we have trouble seeing them.

Sex is a two- way street and there are certain biological and cultural imperatives that dictate an essential truth: The needs of the woman must come first. A simple secret but one that is rarely acknowledged even in today's world.

Mr. Marshall is a gifted writer who is both informative and humorous. In a popular and commercial culture that buries us with impossible- to- meet demands on sexual performance, he clearly gives the reader guidance on how to build a trusting and loving sex life... without frustration.

So, buy one for your partner, friend or adult child to help them understand these truths about men and women - then enjoy a fulfilling and satisfying sex life that will last a lifetime.

Spread the word, The Great Sex Secret is an amazing book and an absolute must read.

You will have Mr. Marshall to thank for changing your life.